I’m Kimberly, age: 34, and about 5’9 tall.
The typical dream of any girl is to grow up and get married to a charming Prince, while most ladies are waiting for a knight in shining armor to sweep them off their feet, they meet different men but feel like that is not what they’re expecting so they go on and keep searching and searching looking all around for a prince that only exists in their imagination, they tend to forget how fast they’re aging moreover their dad lied to them that they’re a little princess and hence expectations were high and this is the situation I find myself.
I don’t want to say that I am desperate, but it seems like I am.
Hoe phase
There’s what is called the hoe phase amongst young people a stage where young people mostly women think they have to be with many men in other to find out what they really want. I on the other hand as a lady will say that the hoe phase is more about promiscuity. My experience when I was in the hoe phase was fun, or maybe that’s what I thought. It was a time when I felt unstoppable as a beautiful woman who has many well-to-do men or should I say suitors who are ready for something serious but I for one want to have fun, that feeling where you’re on top of the world and can’t be stopped because you know it all.
Reality Sets in
It was all fun at some point, but not anymore because all that is already gone.
I wouldn’t want to wish for something different but I do wish I had settled for one who loved me when I was younger. As a middle age woman who is single and desperate, I have lowered my expectations and I don’t mind settling for something less.
I feel this all started when I was younger just like any kid with higher expectations similar to the scenario where we want to grow up and be this or that but as we age we find ourselves in different fields. This is similar to my situation because my expectations of the kind of man I want were very high and I wouldn’t settle for less, that was what I thought.
Loneliness and fear
‘Now I am so lonely, and I’m scared I’m 34 with no kid or man I thought I knew it all I would have listened to my mother ‘those are words that keep pounding in my head as I move from one dating site to another replying to DMs as fast as I could unlike when I was younger with 100 of DMS left unread.
One thing with being desperate is that you’re more likely going to make mistake or meet the wrong person. “Oh This is Tunde seems like he is the one for me, he respects me, and I love him, and after sleeping with him then boom Tunde is gone. Or is it Ben who told me he wasn’t after my body but yet disappeared after having it? All this because I’m desperate”.
90-day rule
The 90-day rule implies that a man only gets the cookie after dating for 90 days.
So I met Emeka who is doing well for himself and is a single dad. He was so serious about settling down and all and I was already saying to myself is he the one? I think the odds might be high as he is a single dad and wouldn’t want to play but the truth is you can never know someone’s intention. The relationship between Emeka and I became so rosy and I fell in love with him and I guess you know what happened next, common guess, well you’re right Emeka got the cookie in less than 90 days and Emeka disappeared.
Then I realized that it doesn’t matter because I have seen couples getting married even though they had sex on the first date someone who wants you will be with you regardless of sex or not.
Guess who got lucky
Today is another boring Kimberly kind of day but this seems a little different as it is my birthday and I wanted to spend it with my family, so I was planning on taking a flight to my family house in Abuja because I am based in Lagos state.
I took my bath and left for the airport as early as possible due to the traffic.
The flight took off and sitting next to me is a handsome-looking man (Ben), we got talking and he seems interesting, long story short we exchanged numbers and parted ways after alighting from the plane.
I got home on time and was happy to see my family, they were all prepared for the birthday celebration which was just more of a family get-together the celebration went well and I was happy for just a moment which I think was worth it because I deserve to be happy.
After my birthday celebration, I traveled back to Lagos and things went back to normal like I was back to work and all that, and not just work but everything like being lonely and all.
Weeks went by and I didn’t get a call from Ben until about a month or so, when we got talking and our communication was getting better I could have called or chatted Ben up but I don’t want to look cheap so I think me waiting for that long was worth it or so I thought.
It’s been months I and Ben have been really close after a couple of friendly dates, to get to know each other and we did get along pretty well He asked me out and without hesitation, I accepted, ‘Ben has a great personality I said to myself or so I thought.
Everything has been great so far I have been really happy for months now and hoping our relationship could move to the next level.
Ben was full of surprises, He was exceptional and the kind of man any woman would dream of. He single-handedly planned a trip to Hawaii and I was surprised when he told me that I have to take work leave and make preparations.
The trip was supposed to last for a month, Ben told me he is into real estate and I was fine with that as he was doing well for himself but for a man to plan a month trip knowing he would be away from his business for some time makes me conclude that he has time for me and I found that romantic.
I felt so lucky to be with someone good and lovely as Ben.
While in Hawaii everything seems good and it was a dream come true for me to go on a trip with someone I love, we had lots of fun and we were both happy.
on the last day we got to spend there Ben asked me to walk with him it was a romantic evening and we were just admiring nature’s beauty, He proposed that evening and I was glad he did because I was expecting that out of desperation.
We got back to Nigeria and things went back to normal we planned our wedding and did the introduction and the wedding was scheduled to take place 6 months after the introduction for proper planning as suggested by ben.
When Luck becomes an illusion
I moved in with ben and we started living together as a couple he asked me to quit my job because he wants me to be a stay-at-home mom, he has been talking about that for a long time but I bought the idea as well because I want to be around my kids and also take care of them myself.
About a month before the wedding I found out that the house we are living in is not Ben’s and when I confronted him he said he was trying to impress me and all, that’s why he rented the place and had to lie that he owns it. He showed up with some documents to let me know that he was building his place.
All this while I’ve been using my money for the wedding preparations Ben claims that taking money from his investment was not a good idea at that point and that he’d refund me after the wedding so I didn’t see that as a bad idea moreover he has been requesting for huge sums from me in hopes that he will pay me after liquidating the investment interest which I was super cool with as I trusted him a lot.
A week before the wedding, Ben disappeared he left home as usual but never came back.
Everything is twisted
on the day of the supposed wedding, I got a text from Ben “ It was great and fun knowing you open the door and see why“.
I rushed to the door and behold there was Ben, smiling I was happy to see him he said he was sorry and that it was just a prank.
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